Logical Randomness

Gender Roles Are Backwards...

2008-01-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

...in the aspects in that love is portrayed. Now don't get me wrong, I know a lot of girls who are looking for love or something to fill the void they have in their live. These females are looking for someone who fits what they want or what they feel they want to satisfy their desires.

But guys are different. Guys aren't looking for a girl that feels what they desire. On the contrary males are looking to fill the desires of a female, to put her on a pedestal and fill her every desire. Males are the romantic ones.

But the irony of the whole situation is that relationships can't and don't start like this, that is why there is flirting. All relationships start as relations (like international relations) where each side fights and struggles for what they conceive is good for them, and attraction builds on this concept. These are basic laws of attraction with a strong sociological and psychological backing. And this is where the irony kicks in, males are attracted to a self aware, yet submissive female and females are attracted to a strong dominate male. Of course these generalizations have fluctuations, stronger females aren't necessarily less attractive, but their relationships tend to lean towards even more dominate males.

This is why females like "jerks" for those of you who can't figure that one out.

Yet ironically early relationships females are generally more submissive and males are more dominate... yet the long term desire is for males to be submissive to fulfill the needs of a dominate female.

And we will find this is true, ~80% of people polled in various polls will say that their mother controlled more in their lives/household than their father. (I believe it happened in NYC, but I have also done some minor statistically inaccurate polls with similar results)

We can also see this applying in our own experiences with early relationships, or those of others. Some guys lack the patience to develop a relationship and push things along which either leads to that weird stalkerish vibe for the female or she also becomes delusional and then things crash and burn. I would bet that 90% of relationships that end early are because of guys that come off as needy due to the wired need to submit in instances of love.

Clearly from this we can ascertain that perhaps our over-generalizations of gender roles in relationships are in fact erroneous in nature.

Ideas Opinions?

I Don't Want A iPhone.

2007-06-29T17:05:00.001-07:00

And I don't need one. As a matter of fact, I could care less; but apparently since Paris Hilton has destroyed any real research teams at various news sources, they had to have some filler and the iPhone was it.

I don't want the iPhone because it isn't cool, it is technologically speaking probably the best phone on the market. All of the issues people are complaining about are really non-issues, now that there will be true business e-mail support. The selective voicemail is awesome, the browser is awesome and AT&T bumped Edge for better performance, auto WiFi is awesome, and there isn't anything close to 8 GB currently available in the micro SD card slot market for the next year. (Samsung announced production this time next year of an 8 GB card, assuming whatever devices are out support it)

But the fact of the matter is that I dropped my iPod for everything short of hiking/skiing years ago. I've got a mp3 cd-player in my car and 700 megs of mp3s are more than enough for my average driving, really can you fit entire bands catalogs on a single cd, which is a medium that cars are designed to carry. I'm never walking anywhere for more than 10 minutes as I live in a city were you really have to drive anywhere. I'd rather watch videos on my laptop or HDTV than on a 7" screen (the same reason I don't own a PSP), I don't need to e-mail on the fly, I barely use text messages; I use my phone to make phone calls. My phone was free, the iPhone is at least $500 before service plan.

Now don't get me wrong, the iPhone is cool, it is nice, it has a lot of good features for people who are always on the run especially if they have business needs... but I don't fit those requirements, so I'm ok. But to each his own.

The World Is Still Going To Hell

2007-06-27T19:44:00.001-07:00

You haven't missed much in the past year, school, work, and the world is still going to hell.

We are in a war that has no signs of ending, we are stripped of our basic rights and the past year can be summed up by two major events.

Of course I am talking about Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton. Two worthless, trashy, people who apparently have the world revolve around them. I have never been so sickened in my life. Now, I didn't know that being a whore made you a role model or a status symbol, and that lack of self control made you a role model; but this isn't the world I live in.

Anna Nicole Smith, who in her own ignorance kills herself, gets the front page of the Newspaper. Like a druggie dying is front page news, I mean I would have understood it if they photoshopped one of those dunce hats on her, or if they put "This is a prostitute on drugs" as the title, but these people actually seemed to care about a "role model" who had nothing to give to the world. There were important things going on in the world, but by the way the media handled it, it seemed like Anna Nicole was the new 9/11. Months later it is still mentioned about every 30 seconds, and a little vomit sneaks it's way up my throat and into my mouth.

Not to be outdone, Paris Hilton, who is about as clean as roadkill herself, drives with a suspended license 35 mph over the speed limit without headlights, carrying the documents that say she can't drive signed by herself. You know the license that got suspended for driving under the influence of which she forgot to enroll in her mandated alcohol classes. So a girl who makes a name for herself sleeping with anything that moves is now a victim because she got convicted of a crime she actually did. So now she is out... and CNN dumps Michael Moore for an interview with her.

Now, I am not a huge Michael Moore fan. He lies, it's not a big secret; he is like a scientologist, if it supports his cause there is nothing wrong with lying. But the fact of the matter is, even though he is a pompous arrogant lying blubbering moron. He is at least qualified to talk politics and issues in the news to some degree. He educates himself on something other than a bottle of liquor and some random naked guy. And that in my opinion makes him 1000x better for actual news.

So yeah, CNN I don't watch your crap. Anna Nicole shouldn't be 80% of your lineup for a month, and Paris Hilton shouldn't be encouraged to even open her mouth.

Well that is that. Vote Ron Paul

Big Gulps. A Theatrical Social Interaction That I Made Common Tongue.

2006-04-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

Lloyd: Hey, guys. Big gulps, huh? Cool. Alright! Well, see ya later.

Over 2 years ago now, I was sitting in an English class where the topic of discussion was interaction through common traits. Or in basic terms interaction between two parties based on the similarities between the few, and the bridges one makes to interact or find common traits in a odd or uncomfortable atmosphere. For example a business man and a sailor from the same city will often join together in another state; because they relate better than others around them regardless of their differences.

So I offered up a classic example from arguably the greatest example of theatrical comedy known to man...Dumb and Dumber. And the line is as above. Half the class sided with me, the other half including my professor thought while true; it was random and irregular as an example. But that said, the character Lloyd (Jim Carrey) built a bridge to interact with others in an unfamiliar environment in order to find stability.

Well lets be honest, this is a pretty good story, most people laugh at the thought of this discussion in a University class, we are talking about Dumb and Dumber here. So I said the story, a lot, a whole lot, ok...a ton or rather others told it as well. And being so well coined in the term, it then became common for those around me to say things like "Big Gulps, well see you later" and leave instead of bye. I know I was one of the first to use it as such, but we each adapted it to our own means. We'll "Alright" in the middle there makes it seem a bit different based on tones, and so this progressed into a slower acceptance of big gulps, which somehow came to be similar to "spilled milk". So now when something bad happens it is shrugged off as "big gulps, alright" and leaving is still "big gulps huh, see you later".

And I know what you are thinking, why does this matter? Will this really catch on. And the fact of the matter it is. I find an significant number of people using it, and to be quite honest it is out of my control. In a language that doesn't define many of it's words other than by tone or situation, this is the perfect example of how slang started. Things like "cool" and "hot" also had a similar ascension some point in time.

Craptastic

2006-04-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

This is going to be one large ramble rather than a focused discussion. That said, I hate the Captialistic world we created for ourselves. Billions of dollars are being stolen legally from the ill, as Pharmaceutical companies make hundreds of billions of dollars annually. And they justify these prices because greedy people sue everyone every 10 minutes. And the lawyers that sue everyone every 10 minutes steal every bit that are "awarded" for their clients. This money then goes to public campaigns and then your greedy lawyers become the government, which in it's greedy image protects the corruption that feeds its pocket.

Incompetency and 161, My letter to X

2006-03-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

I have worked for Meijer for nearly 3 years now.

Greetings Gentlemen,
You are the top of the corporate ladder, and while I do not have to inform you of such a fact, I believe that you should know your business. Specifically the business of unit 161, one of my current employers. So this is my synopsis of the state of events at that particular location.

I work in a place of incompetency; sure things look like they get done, but this is merely and elaborate charade. However I cannot help but question how things get done, when a single person (myself) is supposed to cover all of hardgoods every night. While I am sure you know what hardgoods is, please allow me to elaborate on my current situation. I run Toys, Sporting Goods, Automotive, Hardware, Paint, Plumbing, Electrical, Pets, and even Layaway. That's right, I mix paint, get hunting licenses, run layaway, close my department, put up my returns, and even run register; BY MY SELF.

Clearly one could see this as a problem. On a daily basis, customers look for assistance, are forced to wait for me, and usually leave before I can help them. In such situations where they look for someone to complain to, they often find someone who while called a "Team Leader", whom understands neither the concept of teamwork or leadership. This often leads to the blame shifting to myself, while the team leader walks off and doesn't help the said customer. That in my opinion is a major problem.

Look at the hours my Department gets. We average about 140 hours a week; we have 2988 feet of physical product that needs to be closed. That is less than 3 minutes of work in a week per foot in the department. As a matter of fact it averages out to 40 seconds a day, before you factor in returns and customer assistance. Now before you get mad at the budget, the budget gives my department approximately 250 hours a week, or so I have been informed.

Now you may be wondering why I am telling you this now, and haven't mentioned anything in the past few weeks; and to be honest they are going to try to fire me. And while I won't say I don't care if they do, I have another job and I don't need your money. However your career is in the balance; and in the current state of affairs the only way I see unit 161 turning a long-term profit is if the place burns down and the insurance puts you in the green.

Have Fun With You Loss Of Business,
-Aaron Yates (A Concerned Employee)
Employee ID #17*****
Emplyee for nearly 3 years.

P.S. I will send you a synopsis of the Team Leaders at a later date. I understand you are busy men so I don't want to take all of your time today.

(secondary draft, awaiting peer review/editing)

Back From The Crusades!

2006-03-18T01:06:00.000-08:00

That's right, I have returned with the Grail.

And for the first time I am using Bloggers nasty cheap buttons, and while it looks nice, it gives me ugly code. That said, let us update.

Hopes, Fears, And Dreams; The Things You Find In 18 Hours Of Sleep

So let me see where I left off... It was the year 2005, and school had just ended. I was spitting a lot of advice, because honestly I'm tired of melancholy everywhere. So I was trying to fix the world's problems, because I really care too much. And then I disappeard off the face of the earth. According to different accounts I was in San Francisco or Montana. Well I was at both places, for a time. I was also building the Cabinet which you can see BELOW V

Anyways, so I was working and building, and working and building. Then out of the blue illness hit. I was depressed, cold, tired, and just out of it. Of course added with insomnia, lack of appetite and binge sleeping, I felt like crap. So for the coming months, that was my life. I saw doctors probably 12 times, for everything from Tyroid, to Anemia, to Mono, to XXXXX; you name it, I got the test. Well finally I got a sleep study, in which it was determined that I strangle myself in my sleep. Approximately every 3 minutes I stop breathing, I open my eyes (while in REM sleep), adreneline hits me, I kick and convulse, my brain panics, my lungs kick, and I breathe again. Regardless to say it is awesome. So now I got an air compressor I hook to my face to keep me breathing. It sucks, but I actually have somewhat of a life now.

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

So I disappeared from everywhere but work. And I slept nearly every moment aside from work. So I made friends with people...at work. Or rather I became better friends with the people at work. So once I started getting better I started hanging out with those people. So that would explain why we still don't talk much. Assuming you even read this.

Eh, I got a lot more to say, but this is harder to type than I remember. Maybe I just don't care right now. But definitely more to come.

My Baby Has Been Complete For Some Time

2005-11-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

Cab2
Originally uploaded by Yates.

Here she is, most of you have seen her, but she is mine all mine.

Uber Update

2005-05-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ok so let me see where I am. Hmmmm...

So I have started a MAME Cabinet (finally), thanks to the help of Sir Patrick of Goatse. It was originally a Space Zap cabinet in pretty bad shape. The coin door works and I now have 2 working quarter coin mechs. I also have 14 buttons, a 2.5 inch trackball, and 2, 8-way joysticks, a USB encoder, and 1/2 player start buttons. A 19" monitor should be in the mail. This project should be done in time for MML, where I will play Oregon Trail for hours upon hours straight.

I have done a ton of crazy things lately, and I am starting to embark on even crazier things to do. Including a trip to the ever-abandoned Lexington Mall.

Really the only interesting thing you can say that has happened lately is Patrick becoming a woman. Now Bennett and I am not sure when this happened but he has been PMSing lately for often no apparent reason. He has made a huge scene multiple times and walked out on several occasions. And has rather been quite controlling on what should be done, or what is appropriate, etc. And personally I don't take this.

You see, for the past 2 years I have worked with a lot of people, somewhere in the hundreds of thousands; and I have dealt with a lot of pissed off people. And to be quite honest I am a pain in the ass. I have been breed that way, it is genetic, as my entire extended family cannot have a single event without a fight. So through a lifetime of experience I stare threats in the eye, I actually don't like them. I'm the kind of guy who will kill your hostage and not blink. You and your twelve friends will not get me to flinch. I never show my cards and always bet the pot. So if you think possessions give you power over me, then take your damn possessions and get them the hell out of my view (or house if it may be), I don't play the crowbar game, on either side. (Besides since I now rule all international waters, get the hell off my planet). You see I always smile in the face of adversity. If a angry mother black bear can't get me to move 2 feet from my face, you sure as well better believe that I won't move 2 feet if you try to threaten me. I am a man of diplomacy, and I don't have to whip my penis onto the table to win a debate; if you have a problem with that take it up with somebody who cowers when you yell. I laugh, I smile, I mean; isn't that what Jesus did? Come to think of it isn't that what Rick Blaine, James Bond, John McClane, and many others did?

Now, lets say for example that there is a general consensus that you made a mistake. And instead of being a man, you show a hand of fear and anger, yelling and screaming obscenities right off the bat; and carry an all around bad manner. What do you expect someone on the other side to do? Give in to your yelling? Cower? Cry? Take it? I'm not a man who believes in Karma, but the Golden Rule does exist, and when you are a guest in my house, you act like a guest in my house. Because living costs money, and the only thing between you and the rain is the roof I am giving you.

Decisions,Tiger

2005-05-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

Decisions

I could name off about 5 people that this message could hit home with, and I want to keep it short, so for today your names are spared. Life is too short to play the "what if..." game. People who check their answers after exams get the same score they would get if they didn't check their answers. And with a third of my life over, I don't have time for those stupid games; and neither should you.

You see, if I could go back and change things, I would be with a girl that I wouldn't be happy with. I would be so financially secure that it would be ridiculous. I would never stare down death, and always be secure. And I would be the most boring person on the face of this planet, and everything would be perfect. EXCEPT I am not with a girl that makes me unhappy, I am not financially secure, I've gazed at death on multiple occasions, and I am always confident. I'm incredibly interesting, and everything is perfect.

You see all the A's, all the money, all the girlfriends, all the cars, all the [blank] can't compare to time, or even life at that. So forget about what you could have done, and focus on what you are doing, which is sitting on your butt and missing life.

Dedicated To
Woody Cherry
Josh Paulus
Patrick Kelly and the Saturday Night Band
Olivia Nichols
Dustin Silvestri
Elise Devinney

and

Ezekiel Rage

And Now Let The Fun Begin

You know, I take a lot of crap for being a 1337 h4x0® Mac *niX guru. But that's ok, because I have something that you don't have; and that is called an "advanced computing platform". You know all the cool stuff you've been promised in Longhorn.

We have a journaling filesystem (props to BeOS for their people), like the promised, now vaporware WinFS.
We have a hardware accelerated GUI
We have a "WebCore" called WebCore
We have everything you promise, today.

The only thing we don't have is full directory encryption, because we don't like bloatware, and the resources they take up.
Instead we have hot-keyed home directory encryption, so you don't have to decrypt all 500 megs of Microsoft Office every-time you load up a program.

So I'm sitting here searching for text in PDFs I haven't seen/read, along with Office Documents, websites, ID3 tags, Pictures with metadata. All from the core OS, not applications, the core OS.

Oh yeah and Dashboard is cool.
And Automator will rock the booty hole when I can find out something useful to do with it.

So take your 45 million lines of code, and I will stick with my 15 million lines of euphoria. See you in 2006.

(A Longhorn is a herbivore which processes it's food multiple times through regurgitation and redundant stomachs. It gets along but is utterly slow, and is often prey to large predator cats)

When I Was Your Age I Dealt With Summer, Tornados, Sleet and Snow... All In The Same Weekend

2005-04-27T04:22:00.000-07:00

So Ladies and Gentlemen, I survived Ichthus, and let me tell you it was wet

I heard a lot of bands, saw maybe 3, survived a "Tornado", broke a tv, made some money, sang classic rock in front of a live audience, watched a man get pierced, set up tent 200 yards closer to stage than any living soul, came back to Lexington every night, caught a cold, danced in the snow, lived in mud, went through a restricted entrance, slept in a puddle, played frisbee... without so much as a bath

Eh, there are stories to be told:

The Legend of Nubbles
How To Talk Your Way Through A Gate
People Don't Like Confrontation

But those are for another day

I Want Genital Warts (So I Can Be Happy Like The Commercials)

2005-04-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

British Accents Rock

So if you have a song in your heart, sing it to Patrick Kelly, like the Queen herself is present.

(Did you say something Patrick?)

A History of God

2005-04-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

Well today Patrick and I went church hunting. Livi gets an honorable mention as she apparently goes there. And although it is cool to know somebody there, the message really didn't do much for me. So here is my own message for those a little out of touch with God, or people who fall asleep in church.

A History of God (Bible Synopsis)

In the Beginning God told Adam he could have paradise if he followed God.
Adam didn't and lost paradise.
God told man to repent or he would flood the earth.
Man did not, and only Noah survived.
God told Abraham that his offspring could have the promised land if they followed God.
Trip to Egypt.
God told the Israelites that they could be free if they had faith.
They didn't want to go.
God uses Moses and the plagues to free his people.
People lose faith at Red Sea.
God takes care of people at Red Sea.
People build idol.
God kills idol worshippers, promises promise land to those that follow God and seize the land.
People doubt their ability to seize land, and wander for 40 years.
God grants his people a second chance, promises a great nation if they follow him.
Nation fluctuates between great and crap because of irregular faith.
God gives prophets in order to restore faith in him, and his great nation.
God's people ignore the prophets.
God gives a living sacrifice of himself to atone for the problems of mankind.
God's people all but ignore his sacrifice.
God extends his sacrifice to all mankind.
People more or less ignore it, even to this day.
God gives us a chance to be happy and free.
Then again, what's new?

Frisbee and Tigers and Bears (You Know Who You Are), He He He... Freakin' Schweet

2005-04-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

So we played Gods gift to man last night. That would be frisbee to you uneducated pagans. So anyways it was Jack, Paul, Patrick, Little Yates and I vs. the Roman Empire (or maybe we were split up on different teams, whatever). But anyways it was good and fun, and interesting to see Patrick play skins.

Speaking of Patrick:

Quit being wishy washy on me about Erika, I KNOW you like her, and I KNOW you want to be with her, Don't worry about me. Go for it, I'm not going to be wounded in any way shape or form if something develops. So don't you dare try to use me as an excuse. She seems to be pretty cool, so don't let that chance escape because of your doubts. She sounds like a great girl and you deserve no less. Now if only I could have a taco.

Ok so I have a few gifts for you. I was going through my "Random Crap" folder and had a little fun. Patrick, you get to explore gimp fu as well.

Then here is my George Seurat impression.

Baby Got Gimp

[edited: Too tired to make Alex look 100%]

More Fun

Way To Be Subtle Patrick

2005-04-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

For those of you who actually read Patricks blog, today was the day in which Patrick in his subtly said "Go For It (Connect Four)" [parenthesis are used to denote additions made by the narrator of a quoted piece; in this case it would be I, Perfection himself]

That said last night was great.

Last Night...

Narrator: It was a night of pain, a night of noise, a night of love, a night of hate; a night of music and joy. Yet the fates had something else in store...

[In order of appearance]

Dustin, Alex, Patrick, Livi, Abe, Brian, Slone, Willie Hersh, and Clay made an interesting night.

So I come home to find Alex and Dustin out of their minds in my house. This was of course resolved with a rather subtle "Big Gulps, huh? Well...Alright, see ya later." At which time I invited Sir Patrick of Goatse to join the party. Now after a few hours I called Livi as she mentioned possibly doing something last night, instead being the tricky crazy person she is; she invited herself in the house and killed us all without a hint of mercy. So I spent some time to talk with Livi as the fools in my house went and made larger fools of themselves (I love you guys). Livi and I returned to chill with Abe and Brian as an addition to our gathering. We goofed off for what seemed like eternity; and then the night ended. And then the night began as Slone and Willie Hersh showed up followed by Mary, Joseph and Jesus (or Clay, I'm sometimes confused). And then I tried to sleep for a few hours and woke up and enlightened you and started to ramble.

Anyways, I love you all.

Demonstrating His Powers To The Room, Brian Creates Light With Heat Vision

Relationships, Love, Leon Phelps.

2005-03-30T04:44:00.000-08:00

It is only appropriate to start such a entry with strong words of wisdom.

"What is love?
What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness?
Is it not the sweetest flower?
Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds?
Does not the wind love the dirt?
Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to?

Are you with someone tonight?
Do not question your love.
Take your lover by the hand.
Release the power within yourself.
You heard me, release the power.
Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper.
Conquer heaven with one intimate caress.
That's right don't be shy.

Whip out everything you got...
And do it in the butt."

By Leon Phelps

Now I can't say that I've slept with the lowliest of whores to the highest of bus station skanks; yet I might just know a little bit about relationships that you don't. And while half of you are going to stop breathing and wait for me to address your particular problem, I don't have time to focus on each and every one of you. A lot of you are making fools of yourself and to be quite frank, it hurts me to watch some of you. So let me break it down into one hundred and eighty thousand simple steps.

Don't Be Jealous

Ok, this is a no brainer. Jealousy is just stupid. Ok, so lets settle this here. If you want a girl; find a sociology class. If you want a guy; go to Panama City during spring break. I'm just saying who cares? There are only about 30,000 students at the University of Kentucky alone, find someone else. Besides, if you are a needy clingy thing, nobody is going to like you anyways.

Don't Be Clingy

Ok, so you're a kid here. I mean seriously, no point in denying it. Relationships are supposed to be about attraction and FUN; sure you get into trust and deeper stuff later on, but my goodness YOU SHOULDN'T NEED SOMEBODY. You almost never get the one you want. So tunnel vision doesn't really work out.

Have Some Fun

Again, you are a freaking kid. I'm sorry I can't see why people are depressed, emotional, psycho and in denial here, but get over it. I mean my goodness, I'm tired of your crap. I've said it once before, and I will say it over and over, "If you aren't happy by yourself, you aren't happy with someone else." So have some fun, before I make you

Well I'm Sick

That's right, I'm sick as a dog. I'm not sure if I should blame John Miller, other people I work with (other options ruled out); so rest easy; I cannot point fingers. But I'm on to you, whomever you are, I'm on to you.

<=(Edited: 12:22 pm 3/30/05)

The History Of Thargok

2005-03-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

I am Thargok, King of Chipmunks.

This has been my name for some time. My history is written in Google, and those who take my name from me.

In the year 1999, being the random person I am, the name came to me in a glorious campaign. I yelled it randomly, in the middle of class; and from there forth it was mine. Not to be confused, where I now have 5 google pages affiliated with me; there are like 2-3 websites that use my name without my express written consent. That is ok, imitation is flattery.

And now you know that story.

Cutting the Crap

2005-03-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

Goodbye

Although I have never lost friends, I'm kicking some people out of the circle. I've got things I need to do, and some people are just pissing me off. And although I still care about you crazy, psycho people; I can't sit around and let you bring me down all day. Many of you are not the center of the universe... GET OVER IT.

School Sucks

I've got to write a paper on the legalization of illegal substances. And although this is good from a crime/economic standpoint. Drugs are ignorant, what the hell are people thinking? Are you really such an insecure pansy that you need to take drugs so you don't actually LIVE a little.

Anyways, I got to go to work, I'll have more tomorrow peace out.

Man Finds Cure For Cancer In Mc Hammer's Designer Parachute Pants

2005-03-18T14:21:00.000-08:00

Update

Ok, so the update is finally here, the other night we randomly drove to Pigeon Forge, TN. Where we were instantly harassed by the police, and kicked out of Walmart. After which I drove all the way back to Lexington, only making a stop for ungodly amounts of fireworks, which are just waiting to be released on the unsuspecting public.

Weddings, And Driving, And Atlanta... OH MY!!!

2005-03-16T05:05:00.000-08:00

Well I stopped posting, and the University of Kentucky has lost another basketball game. It is a sad, sad day in sports.

So it's time for a quick update, and by quick I mean freaking long. So lets get this show on the Road.

March 13-16, 2005

March 12 ended in a cold day, with a car packed, and a trip ahead. We knew our destination, we knew our route; but 10 hours on the road was just not enough, so at 11:20 pm; we got gas and started heading out. It wasn't until the 13th till our trip had started however, as the hunt for food was mostly unsuccessful. I was at the helm as music erupted from dual iPods side by side in car holders of their own. And so it came to pass that on March 13th that we finally departed Kentucky on a route to Carolina Beach. It was early morning when we came into West Virginia and as the exits passed I noticed the corresponding exits of the Adkins family and Ms. Kersey whom I haven't seen in some time now. As the trip rolled on through 64, I crossed over to Virginia near Bland, a second home to my aunt and uncle. It was there that the storm caught up with me, snow engulfed my vehicle for what seemed like days; until I crossed the boarder at North Carolina. It was a little past 5 when I came into the state of my final destination. And I continued at the wheel until I got onto I-40 the road that would take me to my destination some 4 hours later. Next thing I know Raleigh is behind me, and I am running on the lukewarm beach. It is here in which Poseidon takes his revenge on my victory by stealing my beloved flashflight frisbee. A swim in the cold water as I sat in the car in a boxer-covered hypothermic state. And so the trip continued until we reached Wrightsville Beach that night after goofing off for a day and getting some sleep (after a ACC game on TV). More ACC basketball continued as the UK game could not be found deep in the heart of the Atlantic, thank you ESPN ticker. March 14th the day started at 10 am, sleep was good, however the room had to be evacuated in 1 hour. Quickly the bags were once again packed and tossed in the car as a Wedding surely would happen in a few hours within visible distance on the beach. It is then where the plot takes a twist. In a stroke of pure genius I decide that we can make it to Atlanta for the last round of the SEC tournament, with a six hour overnight drive. Well, when it was all said and done; it came down to the LSU game. And I swear, in the history of Wrightsville Beach to run up and down the beach, barefoot, singing the UK fight song. Ten hours later, I was leaving Charlotte on my way to the SEC. It was while on this path that I picked up the state of South Carolina. My brother, uncle, and I slept in Georgia that night, just two hours out of Atlanta. March 15, to make a long story short, we got great tickets, UK lost, we went back to Charlotte and prepared to return to Lexington. March 16, 9:00 am we were out of there and on our way back to Lexington. With the reopening of Jelico Mountain on I-75, we picked up the state of Tennesse, at 3:00 pm we were home; FINALY.

And that is my story.

Reflection

Well I haven't reflected on anything in a long time, and I really should have been. So I am going to come clean and let it all out, all the insights I have into life and all the advice I can offer. I guess the first thing I have to say is pray, it's good stuff man. That said, here is my advice:

Carpe Diem - Life is too short, live it up. It is good to prioritize, but always remember today could be your last. Get your fun out.

Be Content - I think that the only wish I have in life is to not regret life itself. And while I am not perfect, I am the maker of my own decisions and should therefore be proud of whatever results might occur. Be fun, be stupid, be creative, but just be ready and happy.

There is so much more, but it is late. Be yourself, be unique, don't care what the other man thinks. I am not perfect, but everyday I am closer and that is all I need.

Good Dreams, Good Life, Good Night

Wanted: Yates

2005-03-02T23:51:00.000-08:00

Wanted: Yates
Originally uploaded by Yates.

A guy once said, I am somewhere between Brad Pitt and Fabio... and ladies and gentlemen; I am.

The Times They Are A Changin'

2005-02-28T04:55:00.000-08:00

"Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'."

-Bob Dylan

Well, I don't know where I should really start, there are so many things to mention. But I guess I should start with work:

Work is crap, I don't know where to start and end. The past few weeks have got pretty bad, and there was actually one night where I was going to raise all hell over the crap they give me. Everybody I work with is tired of it, but we all can't leave my boss. However, he will not be my boss for much longer. John Miller, probably the best guy I have ever had the pleasure of working with; has been promoted to a job, that quite frankly, he deserved long ago. And while I am proud of him, and proud to have worked for him, it is definitely time to get out of there; as it just won't be worth it to stick around.

However, I did have an interesting experience the other day; I killed a glass table. That's right, I shattered a table into a million pieces, with a single ramming of a pallet. It was joy and pain in the same moment; if only you could have been there.

That said, I am leaving. Not that I haven't wanted to, but I wasn't going to change my boss for anything; now that the choice is not mine, I am out.

I have some more crap to say... but it is morning and I have class in a few hours.

David R. Foley is a Girly Man

2005-02-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a little bit about David R. Foley. He is a empty headed animal food trough wiper. Of whom which I fart in his general direction. His mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. And would the man not try to trademark the MAME logo, I would not taunt him a second time-a.

And that said, I would like to read a poem.

The Drowning Man

You can never teach
The drowning man to swim.
As long as he is in the water,
All he can do is flail,
And try and not sink.
Eventually he will tire.

Throw him a line.
Tell him a story.
Tell him it will be okay.
Convince yourself
That it is okay to lie.

You know that he really isn't okay.
You know that he can't swim.
And, you know,
If he stays in the water,
Eventually he will die.

D. Foley, 1997

Hatea's Quit Hate'n

2005-02-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

Click Her'

Selling Your Soul to the (White Capitalist) Devil

2005-02-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

In the true spirit of capitalism, I have signed up for a service in which by signing people up for promo's; I get a new computer. Now while this may not be important to you, it is a detrimental part of the new MAME campaign. Now if you would please sign up for crap, I would greatly appreciate it. Kevin Rose swears to it's authenticity and I may in the future also sign up for a free iPod Photo and Mac mini from the same company. Anyways, here is the link; thanks for signing up (or not, you lazy lazy people). Also cancel whatever you sign up for, (after the required time passes) we can't go around getting charged for this crap; and nobody wants a bad credit rating.

CLICK ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every Time I Don't Post...

2005-02-16T03:58:00.000-08:00

The University of Kentucky Loses at basketball. That's right, I admit it, it is my fault.

And Now... The Updates:
Frisbee, Skiing, and Pranking; OH MY!

Frisbee:

Today was the first day of frisbee, and I must say it was 60 degrees of pure pleasure. (Fahrenheit you crazy metri's) It reminds me of the good old days, but I must say that 3 1/2 hours is a bit much... yet not quite enough. By the time fall rolls around this year, I will have two broken legs and weigh 124 pounds. I am so sore, which brings me to ...

Skiing:

Saturday was the first day in a long time that I had the pleasure of skiing. (technically sunday) And I must say it was 34 degrees of pure pleasure. I didn't have too much trouble, but definitely fell more than I deserved. I have already talked my uncle into taking me to Whistler, Canada in the near future. Moral was up when we left, which brings me to...

I'M NOT RANDOM

Pranking:

For legality terms, I cannot mention those involved. But let us say that a certain Party: A, had an incriminating picture, which was made into a Valentines Day Card and then delivered by us Party: B, to a single person fair in the eye of A, whom we will name Party: C. Now initially C was supposed to wonder why A left a card, however there is the Z factor. Now the Z factor in not so many words, is a wrapped up can of cheesy noodles, which happened to be connected to the card. What astonished us here at B is that C did not understand the gift that keeps on giving, and therefore confronted A; which let to a scandal involving B, us. However, the joke is not on B, us; because well we found through network surveys, that people respond well to canned goods in awkward situations. That said, A has more incriminating pictures that I will not post here. I will not even say how to get them based on a pact with that person. However if you want to post a link in the comments, I will only be allowed to moderate it once every 72 hours. I love you A.

Valentines Day

Well in the true spirit of Capitalism... I did nothing for Valentines day; aside from lots and lots of school crap. And a few things with friends.

Your Quest For En-Lightenment Has Come To a Close

Let The Jokes Begin.

2005-02-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

So I'm gonna go ahead an issue apologies for the upcoming damage in the next couple of weeks. There isn't a precise list, we have gone over you, and lets just say that Morgan will be involved if at all possible. The first of many will go down tonight. And I will have to issue that apology myself; as you see the essence of a good joke is timing, and timing was against me. True I had little control on it, and while for some people I wouldn't wink, one should treat their friends like family; and I strive to be that kind of person.

People Still Remaining On The List:

Paulus (so many resources to utilize, what will we do... WHAT WILL WE DO??)
Alex (so little resources " ")
etc.

Let's just say that if I have you in my address-book, you could be mine (but you're way out of line, with your bitch slap rappin' and your cocaine tongue, you get nothing done, I said) you could be mine.

Targets hit: Wouldn't you like to know... wouldn't you like to know. Anyways there will a lot of video footage in the upcoming months, and nothing is going to be TOO bad. I will not be releasing waivers and am not afraid to censor your face for commercial gain. (who would buy my crap?)

Anyways it is almost 5 am, speak about bad timing.

...We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain. But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it. (Boondock Saints)

Happy Hunting.

Pull Out Your Credit Cards Ladies.

2005-02-12T02:16:00.000-08:00

I am worth $2,361,300.00 on HumanForSale.com

Remember this next time you question my authority.

(Disclaimer: This like 90% of the links on my website will probably leave you with spam. Please use that hotmail account you check every 2 months or so.)

Something Evil This Way Comes

2005-02-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

Possibly Final
Originally uploaded by Yates.

Well, the Mame Cabinet had a small setback of $10 tonight. The god of the sea just didn't bless me tonight, I mean I'd rather be lucky than good. But I was just out of luck.

Oh well, another day passes without GTA being beat. And at least I didn't do bad in the tourney.

You Are One Cold, Heartless Day

2005-02-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

Picture 2
Originally uploaded by Yates.

What a wonderful day to get a tan.

Who Would Have Guessed?

Poseidon

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

On, On, U of K

2005-02-09T04:33:00.000-08:00

Well, the Cats again pull off an amazing show. I mean did you see some of that show boating? Oh well, it is has been a long day of absolutely nothing, isn't that wonderful?

No real updates, other than to say keep it cool; spread the love, fight the man.

Peace,
-Yates

[nutshell]
Ok, 2004 Recap (Thanks Paulus)

I guess if I had to pick a date that the previous new year started on it would have to be mid-January. Not that I didn't enjoy New Years, but my year started in K-Tower 1808. And while not all my memories there are the best, there were definitely some good ones. Slone and I still talk about it like it is a fairy tale. The girls, the parties, the games, the EVERYTHING. And we were known, both in person and in photography.

I didn't really get out in 2004, I mean none of us did. We were self sufficient and for lack of a better term a family. I mean looking back there were things that we probably shouldn't have done, but you can't look back on these things. I meet a ton of girls this past year, and had some fun with a few. I'm not going to go into details, but those of you who were there with me probably have a couple of different names on the top of your mind.

I developed and ungodly love for Ultimate Frisbee, to the point where I would play at least twice a day, if not throw a frisbee around every other day. I mean I just love that game, it is so great. And I developed a habit of playing with people that will cause me to bleed/have a heart attack, which is all good.

And looking back on these things just make the feeling of not being in school more odd, as I didn't go back after that semester (at least till now 2005). Although I did get to find myself during this time, it is different. Work sucked, although it was pretty easy. Christmas was terrible.

Oh, and Panama City is garbage for spring break, regardless of age/gender/physique/anything.

However, not to get ahead of myself; the summer was amazing. I hung out with Willie Hersh, as he lived in town during the "off-season". This created what I like to think off as a HC reunion. I mean there were people that I didn't know lived anymore that crawled out of the cracks, slight acquaintances and everything. However these were good times, it was Paulus, Jay, Clay, Slone, Patrick, Alex, GK, Will, Trisha, K-Tizzle, Abe, Ishmael, Porter, Deves, Brian, Dan, Ryan, I mean everybody (but Ted, but that is a different story). Ah the memories.

Poker was almost a constant most of the summer, poker, movies, something, monopoly.
Ah monopoly. Chris, David, John, Slone, Alex, and I. Oh and sometimes we would have to deal with Chandra and one of her freaky friends, whatever.

So school came and we got my current place of residence. Quite quickly it became obvious that Clay is absolutely useless. He does nothing around the house, and despite his dorm room performance; he is clearly the messiest in the house. I mean to this day it is ridiculous. Oh well.

The year ended with another reunion, and more people getting hooked up to my social chain. Alex has made connections to current freshman at UK and seniors at HC; which means more people are now in the loop. We are on social terms with Jack again after a loss of communication for a few months. Everything worked out with Ted. I am trying to contact some people from BS again. (Livi, [Chris, David, John, their crew], People I still work with, etc.). Oh yeah, speaking of people I work with, I do hang out with people from work now. Gary, Shawn, and every once in a blue moon Jared. Although I seem to be on social terms with both Jared and Adam. I would probably take Sara into the circle as well but she is JUST SO BLAND. Ummmm, hmmm. Oh Shane lives up the street which means that when I see him, I bump into either acquaintances or make acquaintances. That said, I should go ahead and say that Kristen is gone from there and as of 2005 my childhood friend (6 months->6 years) Andrew is living there. So just add them to my list...

My goodness, that is way too many names. Anyways people, peace out. That is 2004 in a nutshell [/nutshell]

I am Vodka (not to be confused with Batman; I know they are similar, but still...I mean come on, If I were Vodka and Batman what would you call me?)

2005-02-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

Vodka

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

OK I LIED

Millionaire playboy by day, dark knight by night.
You are the world's greatest detective. You are
Batman, and you are feared and respected by
both hero and villian.

Which DC Super Hero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Edited By: Yates Feb. 10, 2005 16:55]

[Insert Cocky/Funny Synopsis Here]

2005-02-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

Drama

Ah so last night was good, old friends; new tricks. But there always seems to be a few things wrong with a night like last night, and drama wasn't lacking. So let me give you an update on EVERYBODY else's life, and lets leave it at I am fine.

The People (The following are in order of appearance):

Elise: Freaked out by Alex B out with other people, goes into a panic which is just short of Porter. Which I later take care of myself. This continued until I personally invited Alex B to join me on my quest for the holy grail.

Porter: Speaking of the Devil, her contact comes out and she calls Clay somewhere around 18 times while we are trying to clean. I took it upon myself to take care of her, since Clay and her are not technically "together"; so like any good person, I hit the ignore button 11 of those 18 times. And after that we had no problem for the rest of the night.

Ted: No Drama at all, it was great seeing him again. So all is good in that department.

Paulus: Well the only drama here was that the Adam/Ted thing kept him from coming out. Too bad he didn't get to see the dozen or so pictures I have got around campus (yes that is him on that SAB poster)

Katee: Katee, Katee, Katee; what the hell? Apparently you got a boyfriend, at least that is the impression given off. So GET OVER SLONE. As if the vibes you give off are not awkward enough, you freaked out about him; and he IS NOT YOURS. Also don't take that crap out on me.

Time on 18

Well, the dreams and ideals are gone. 18 is practically dead; and it makes me sad. And while my brothers are still there, they are but a shadow of their former selves. And with Mr. Larry Taylor himself gone, I would say the very heart of the floor is gone. Fair-well you princes among freshman, for 18 shall surely be abandoned next year.

Insomnia, Skiing, Comments, Cow

2005-02-01T04:57:00.000-08:00

Insomnia

I have been around the block. The moon has cycled over two hundred times as long as I have walked this mortal plain; yet still I lack sleep. The morn comes soon and with it a new day, yet my days of past have not ended. Sleep well in the darkness for another day is around the bend.

Skiing

Yes, we are going to celebrate Valentines by giving into our lusts and hitting the slopes. With cares cast to the wind, I will freeze and batter my body to joyful enlightenment. And as always, you are more than welcome to join me. Feb 12, we are leaving at 7:00 pm; I will be taking somewhere between 2-46 people in my car. Road trip rules are in effect, in which we can only listen to "Crash" by The Primitives over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over (it should be somewhere around 50 times, but I will say a billion just to make sure) in true "Dumb and Dumber" fashion. Anyways, we are going for a group discount which will cut it down to a little more than $50 a person, so try to let me know by like Thursday/Friday/September.

Comments

See Link At Bottom Of Post
Anyways, leave something

Got Beef? It's what's for...

In typical Yates fashion, I have secured a cow to the top of my car. Not that it is always there, but if you see it, you know it is me.

Anyways...

It is practically 5 in the a m; so that means that I have to go out and watch the sun come up, and do a little reading. You keep it real people

FREE XXX HOT TEENAGE ANIMAL HOME EQUITY VIAGRA ENLARGEMENTS (click for details)

2005-01-28T02:27:00.000-08:00

School Is Good

Yes children, higher education is for those of us who want to kill everyone. Tomorrow I will wake up and realize that technology is against me, and coincidentally chemistry is with me. So like my forefathers who fought the great battle against Arnold Schwarzenegger before he came from the future; I too will take command by living in a small shack in North Carolina and build bombs from pinball machines. And these bombs I will mail with stamps not containing my own silva. And then I will have my name legally changed to Theodore Kozinski, ahhhh that will be the day.

Life Is Good

I believe it was my first post when I said that if somebody isn't happy with themselves; they sure as hell aren't going to be happy with somebody else. I swear I'm not making this up. Come on people, I don't need to listen to your crap; I got my own life to live. So go and LIVE your own life, have a little fun. Remember life is made of four things, fun, conflict, resolution, 42. Also, if you aren't finding love where you are looking...look someplace else. There you go.

Now my life is another story, there must be like 6-12 HBs (Hot Bodies for those of you who don't hear me talk about women) in my English Class alone. Now given my pick, there has to be at least one good one out of the bunch; and by good I mean acceptable. If not I will have to move on to history class. If all is good, all is good; if not so good, all is good. I mean there must be at least 50,000 other women I will meet in the next 10 years; so if one were to stop moaning and groaning about their love life, they would notice those odds are something I would bet on.

M.A.M.E.

Pull out your soldering irons kids. I am going to do some good old fashioned wiring. I'm not going to go into much detail, but you might want to dust off some of your video game controllers *cough*NES/SNES/Genesis/PS*cough*

Well, once again it is getting late, and I have a Calc quiz to finish in the morning; so I will see you kids later. Give me a call if you need me.

Eh, Life is full of Ponies

2005-01-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

Well Kids, it has happened again. Another night with little sleep leading to an exhausted mind; add this with the frisbee that will probably now be cancelled due to snow...and you have all the makings of a crappy day.

Good news is, I am happy. That is right, you can stop worshipping me for a while; because I will not sack your village tonight.

More to come...class

Valentines, Work, School, Words of Wisdom

2005-01-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

What's the big deal with Valentines? I mean we get together to celebrate the beheading of a man, who completed forbidden marriages. Now, looking back at the past few Valentines; those are some psycho people. Looking back on it, I would behead whoever bound me to those people as well. Seriously people, I can understand spending some quality time with somebody you love, feeding the capitalist ideal, and so forth. BUT don't go out of your way to satisfy some crazy idea that people aren't happy alone. People that aren't happy with themselves are not happy with ANYBODY.

Work sucks that is my new life slogan. Why me? Well I'll tell you why. Somewhere I got some crazy idea in my head that people that work hard get somewhere in life. I mean when has Karl Marx been right about anything? Well, it turns out that it does get you somewhere...just not where you want to be. So now that my lovable boss cannot give me many hours, I am up for bid everyday...and everybody knows my name. So I find myself doing other peoples jobs, teaching myself that job, and away from my friends/acquaintances at work. I can now officially run my own store... I am only about 30 hours of training, and 2 years of leadership experience away. There is NOTHING I cannot do; including use the intercom across state lines.

Be Cool, Stay in Le Pool:

School is fun, school is easy, school is time consuming, school is full of new girls; what more can I say?

En Vivé

Live every day like it is your last. Get everything settled, speak your mind, Carpe Diem. I like people who aren't afraid to breathe, bleed, and speak their mind.

More to come.

My Book, Life, Heroin, Insurance Fraud.

2005-01-22T04:22:00.000-08:00

So what; I've been around for some time, defending the Queen, disturbing the peace, and defending the ONE AND ONLY Trident of Poseidon. But who is my daddy, and what does he do? Those answers and more, in the following:

Ok, so the past few months have been hell; but I am finally getting back in order. Work seems to get a little easier every day, I swear I won't be there next christmas. But on to the real things in my life; I seem to become more of the acquaintance guy now. I swear I love people, but I know WAY TOO MANY of you. This really isn't good now that I am surrounding myself with students again. YES you heard right, I am actually going to school.

Poker, poker, poker; what can I say? The past few weeks, I downplay, I hollywood, I bluff, I show, I muck; and all you know is I either have boats or nothing. I am subtly making false tells, just to see who notices. So if I tap out for a straight, I might just have some pocket rockets.

I will definitely have an update someday. So check this page every five minutes and bathe in it's glory.

My Book: Not much progress here. It is pretty much everything I want to accomplish with this; well minus the adds and incriminating evidence. Yet so far, I am still left with the following.

"I'm the one who faces his fears. A fighter and a lover. The one with no regret for the days nor the nights, which I have seized. I live life by one creed, live. I drive fast, dance slow, and work somewhere in-between. I am a man of morals, a defender of good, and the physical incarnation of beauty. I'M NOT RANDOM!!!!! I'm the one who cheats with death, taking life for all it's got. I think on my feet, and sit on my rear. I'm everything, everyone wants; happy, happy, and content."

[Sarcasm] For those of you who do not know about my book, it is an amazing story; including such vivid and deep characters as: James Tiberius Kirk, the lovable Chewbacca, grizzly man Aragorn, revolutionist John Conner, pretty boy Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell, paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant, rock star Marty McFly, token black guy Apollo Creed, the hysterical Lloyd Christmas, the show-boating John McClane, and of course; their leader Daniel Ocean. Together they form the "A Team" [/Sarcasm]

Other Random Projects:

This Crap: See Figure A.

Mame Cabinet: Ready to go, just need tax refund.

Poker Table: Waiting for complete rebuild, and having some felt problems.

Trident: A suitable replacement trident will take some time to conceive. I am afraid that I will have to scale Olympus and defeat Zeus, therefore restoring Chronos to his place as god of all. Once I have restored the Titan from Elysium; he and I shall reform the original trident shards with my own as the god of the time reverses its fowl fate. In that day, I shall enter his body and fuse with the seed of Poseidon, defending my title.

Fighting: Well heck, kids there is a Heavy Bag hanging in my room...what can we deduce from this?

Outlook On Life:

The world would be a better place, if everybody were just content. Today you live, and that is cause for celebration. I may be young, and I may not know much; but living life is where it is at. Boys and girls, you are like everybody else; and while I normally go more in depth with this type of crap, it is not entertaining. So the solution is this: If you "sweat some girls nuts", "whine about no-lovin' ", complain about how you look, or something to that degree...I will slap you with a moldy fish.

Links You Should Already Know By Heart:

Site After My Own Heart
"Best Page In The Universe"
How To Dress
Ladder Theory
MAME
MAME Cabinets
Something I Waste Time On
Everyones Favorite 10 Year Old Game
OSS
My Main E-mail